There is a certain word that has been cropping up more and more recently. It's origins are debatable, and perhaps therefore, so is its actually validity. It can't seem to be found in a formal English Dictionary, located instead among the numerous creations of language that have grown from internet mediums. The possibility of slipping into overuse and cliche is surely looming closer and a place in the company of many an overly romanticized travel notions such as 'wanderlust' is potentially approaching. But if we define a word as a unit of sound which somehow becomes a link to an idea for everyone that hears it, then 'Sonder', this new kid on the block, might just have its place in the magnificent system of expression that is language... Expressing the inexpressible.
n. "the realization
that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your
own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and
inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an
anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of
other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only
once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic
passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk."
If for no
other reason, then because considering the truth and beauty in this concept is
staggering. But perhaps what is even more remarkable is when this concept is
suddenly surpassed. Someone of this "ant hill" is no longer just an
momentary extra in your life but suddenly a legitimate part of it - someone you
could not have even imagined existed just months before.
As we approach around six weeks truly here in
the community of Mcleod Ganj both the word sonder and that which surpasses it
have become so starkly present.
When we first
arrived, this place was a living, breathing tangle of unfamiliar. Dogs and
shops and cows and cars... So few streets and yet a maze; A truly awe inspiring
maze, perched gazing down into a sprawling valley and out at those impossible
mountains...
And of course,
within this buzzing chaos are people. So many people that have been existing
simultaneously to you, their lives and your life equally complex and entwined
with just as many other complex, entwined lives, just thousands of miles apart.
Like all
communities, this community is a web of connections. The moment we moved
through it with our host families, walking from the room at IBD where we met
for the first time over a cup of tea, to their respective homes, we suddenly
saw this web unfold before us in a way it never could with our previous, more
touristy lens. People we had walked past countless times suddenly had a name
and a relationship to our momentary moms and dads... Cafes were rendered a
little less necessary because we now had a home in which we would eat our
meals.
Even though on
this program we are moving with a group of people we have previously known,
voming into a new city, a new community, has the potential to highlight one's
dependence and comfort on their normal community (or one of their normal
communities) in a way more moving than anything else. A type of mutual
'ownership' shared between you and your previous community exists, and this
relationship is brought into focus more than it could ever be while you are
still living with it everyday.
You
'own' your community and it 'owns' you. We don't realize how flawlessly we
function within the lives we lead, focusing too much on minor inconveniences.
Every relationship, place, responsibility, fit seamlessly together with
everything else to make up our lives.
But
suddenly you land in a world where everyone has these seamless existences with
each other and you must try to wriggle between the seemingly absent stitches.
Soon
not only your life, but also the lives of those around you have loosened their
impossibly tight seams just enough to let you stitch yourself in. You can be a
part of a community again. Living with a host family for only three weeks isn't
nearly enough time to experience this
incredible feeling to the fullest extent. But something does change. You have
an irrevocable addition to your life and no matter how brief the time was, it
is an incomparable experience. Just trying to wriggle yourself into the 'stitches'
of a family's existence for such a brief period of time highlights how
beautifully complex every life is. There are traditions and quirks, and jokes
and stories... And you get the incomparable opportunity to share in them, if
only for the blink of an eye.
The stitches of a whole city are much looser, and it is a different feeling to find your place in between them. It doesn't take too long for you feet to take each turn on the way to your favorite restaurant or to the NGO where you volunteer with out much conscious direction from you. Faces begin to become familiar, names and experiences begin to be associated with those faces. A brand new place has become familiar, a brand new way of life has become habitual. This place can never again just be a name or a dot on a map. Now even though we no longer live with our families, we have a home of sorts - we can be walking down the street and hear our name called out... Turn around to see the beaming face of our Ama la (Tibetan for mother) and tiny brother inviting you to come share a cup of chai.
No comments:
Post a Comment