A Home in the Other Corner of the World
The
clock is ticking. The hours are going by firmly, elongating the past
and moving away the future. There is a thing called time that is
intimately linked to our memories. Clocks measure time, but they fall
short when measuring memories.
My
memories have become a kind of fuel that burns to keep me alive. Those
memories might lie in the simplest things, yet they intertwine in such
impossible ways that make existence itself a complex yet exciting path
to walk on.
Clocks
were merely the tools we used to go to class, to meet at Gu Chu Sum, or
to have tea time at the celestial palace. Those clocks were delayed by
three different times, and failed to measure our memories second by
second. So, what is left of so many hours in the Eastern latitude?
What
has stayed with me since the day we left is a tiny voice on the back of
my head that keeps reminding me that things are not what they seem.
Time flows in strange ways when one is away from home, and little by little what not long ago was our daily life, today
it has become memories of mountains and foreign smiles. Memories that
have captured far-away places and that have taught us things we had
never imagined.
Our
steps were outside the traveled lanes, with curious eyes and dancing
winds. Prayer flags accompanied our steps. Those memories are brightened
by the way the sunset colors the sky: blue at heart, pink, subtle
orange, light blue and clouds, deep blue clouds. Some shiny stars dying
in the far distance reminding us that we are too made of star dust.
That’s
how Dharamsala colors its days: red, pink and orange for the sunsets
and a bit of turquoise for the early sunrise. That’s how I remember the
faces, streets, words and smiles that have ticked in my clock,
impregnating the seconds with time and the time with stories.
It
is well known that mountains keep secrets. Secrets that combined with
distance have the ability to transform the mind and the heart wisely.
Little by little, the smell of incense, red robes monks and those
surreal highlands became a continuous story.
I
used to wake up early to a cup of chai and if I was quiet enough I
could listen to chants in the distance and also monkey fights not so
far. Later on, dodging cows, motorcycles and eating momos after class
were tracing my day to day. Walking up and down by Temple Rd I would
sing along Om Ma Ni Ped Me Hum with that catchy melody that just the
ones that have listened to it can understand.
Suddenly
we stopped being spectators, and we became characters. We started to
sound out some Tibetan words just like little children do, and that
opened a new world of understanding. We were not there just to consume
culture or passing by with our backpacks. We were there to listen deeply
to all those untold stories that wanted to be listened.
At
the beginning it seemed like the cause was not ours. But then, as we
walked together with our Tibetan friends, their cause became also our
own.
It
was then when I would come back to my host family for dinner to listen
the crazy stories of my –Pa la- or the laugh of my –Ama la – while
trying to understand each other through mimicry.
An
unknown street, in a remote town, in the other corner of the world
became a street of memories, in which we would walk on our way to class
or to a café in Jogiwara Rd. Crossing cultural borders just required to
fill my stomach with as much chai as my Pa la could fit in my cup. And
then without realizing we were weirdly belonging to a place that wasn’t
ours, crossing borders that we didn’t even know existed.
I
could go on, trying to extract the essence out of moments, but I have
always believed that there are certain meanings that are lost forever
the moment they are explained in words.
Time seemed to pass by very fast, and suddenly the time to leave home to go to another home ticked on our clocks.
On
one of our last days in Dharamsala, another very tragic event occurred
in Tibet. And it touched me deeply. In a late evening of that last week,
I found myself with so many other people, holding a candle for a vigil
of a nomad that self-immolated back in Tibet. It was such a painful, yet
powerful moment, Tibetans chanting for their brother and some foreign
eyes witnessing the horror of our time. A picture of the nomad hanged in
the front made me recognize the look of a dear friend, and the struggle
that little by little became also mine.
In
between the obscurity and sadness of the moment, there was something
tingling in the freezing air. There is something that lives in each
Tibetan, and that I myself have also learnt to live with. There is hope
in our hearts, burning as a vital flame that warms the freezing air in
the cold vigil nights.
It’s
hard to believe that so much suffering and dispossession can occur over
soil. People are being displaced by something called borders. Those
borders of nation states are not so different from borders between
people.
Suddenly
everything became a matter of borders, borders created by language, by
nationality, by way of living, borders constructed upon the illusion of
difference. With every second passed, and smile shared, those
differences fell apart, leaving behind a strange sensation in the chest.
This semester in Dharamsala taught me that it is possible to cross
those cultural borders by opening our hearts and ears, and understanding
that all those cultural differences are mere illusions that we exercise
through a thing called identity.
There
is so much resemblance between nation states and people. And to break
free from borders, we also need to break from our illusion of self. That
thing called self, changes while it moves. I move, therefore I am.
This
is the way in which that corner in the Indian Himalayas became home,
while I realized that I am not so different from snails, always carrying
home with me.
The most important thing I learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school.
Those
days in Dharamsala have found a deep rooted place in my memory. A place
where they will age old and sprinkle sunset colors before going to
sleep. As of today,
the images of a not so distant past swell and shrink inside me, shaking
up my thoughts, making me believe that I’m capable of reaching true
understanding.
Today,
I have this strange feeling that I am not myself anymore. And it is a
good thing, although it’s hard to put into words, I have been
disassembled and now I’m capable of experiencing metamorphic changes
through space and time.That sort of feeling. Hopefully these dear
memories will live in my words and thoughts, making my life worth
living.